|It is strange to say I feel that I have learned more of what it means to be a Jedi from the Mandalorians than I have from any Jedi Master. Whether this is the result of my own willingness to learn I am unsure; perhaps I was more reluctant in my studies at the Temple than I realized. Perhaps in the Mandalorians I feel more freedom to pursue myself and therefore am more in touch with the force? However, as the Jedi have been disbursed I cannot go back and test this theory—and I am hesitant to admit, I am unsure if I would want to.|
The Jedi order seemed to be the ideal place and culture to foster one’s mental and physical development. Did my training leave me more brainwashed than I realized? Was this His plan to ensure that I remained closely integrated within the Jedi? If so, did I unknowingly carry out His plan? Perhaps my delusion of freedom, of rebellion, was merely by His design.
I have yet to find an answer to these questions—either within myself or the force; however, I will remain diligent. I will be mindful of the decisions that I make, knowing that perhaps, it is not my own will that drives me.
Brightest Light, Darkest Knight
Eve's Holonet Log 1